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There is No “Just” in Adoption

Just. Just. It’s such a simple little four letter word. And yet it’s a word that can make a conversation come to a screeching halt. A word that can invoke feelings of inferiority and shame in its recipient. It’s the conversational equivalent of a drive-by shooting. We have all experienced a drive-by justing, and most of us have been hurt by it because the word ‘just’ is irritating and belittling to anyone facing any kind of problem… “Just try harder,” “Just  change your perspective,” “Just get over it,” “Just ignore it,” “Just get…

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#RealityDad: Learning Challenges and Deciding to Get Tested

It began with a meeting to discuss Darcy’s “challenges”, a euphemism for the word “deficits” that was used when I was a boy. I’ve always hated both. The former reeks of some sort of 1984 Newspeak and the latter is rife with potentially detrimental consequences. Regardless of my thoughts neither word is one a parent wants to hear in context with one’s child. My daughter Darcy, all of six and in first grade, had been performing below grade level for some time and in many ways the meeting wasn’t a…

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BBC Dad: Why is Parenthood Considered at Odds with Professionalism?

Much had been made of the scene depicted on the BBC video of an interview with Robert Kelly. Speculation about how Robert pushes his daughter away, without even looking at her. Why doesn’t he just pick up the child? Or politely tell the interviewer, “Excuse me,” and direct the child to leave. And why is the wife so panicked? Her demeanor of terror suggested to some that she was the hired help, instead of the mother of the interrupting munchkins. I’m sure in hindsight, he wishes he would have handled…

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Hungry for More Than This Adventureless Marriage

After a decade of marriage, birthing four mini-me’s, and turning into a SAHM, I am beyond hungry. Starving, actually. My appetite has become insatiable and my cravings unsurmountable. Yet, it isn’t food that I am in need of to satisfy these hunger pangs. Not in the least. I am hungry for passion. Intimacy. Emotional stimulation. I am desiring the sex life of my wildest fantasies come true and then some. I want to reawaken the woman inside of me. The one I laid to rest in order to transform into…

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When Is It Appropriate To Ask “Are You About To Get Your Period?”

I have been asked, many times, if I was about to get my period by well-meaning men. I think the men who ask this kind of question just have not been schooled. So, as a giver of gifts and a saver of relationships, I thought I would lay it out in an easy-to-read format. These are the rules boys. Live by them and no one gets hurt. Is it appropriate to ask, “Are You About To Get Your Period?” when my wife/girlfriend disagrees with me? This is tricky. If she…

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