You are here

Mother’s Day Sucks

Mother’s Day sucks. There, I said it! I fully admit it. It shouldn’t. I’m the proud and lucky mom of two great kids, a girl, 10, and a boy, 4. They are my life, my joy, and I couldn’t imagine my world without them. But see, I belong to this club, the one that no one ever wants to be a part of. I’m a card-carrying member of the “my mother is dead and it sucks club.” There are many of us, and aside from that first few days of…

Read More

As My Grandmother Died, I Learned That All Mothers Matter

I watched my grandmother die today. She was nearly 93, at the end of a long and storied life, and she had no pain. My mother and I were with her, alone together in the room as she left us. In offering condolences, the hospice workers commented on how sweet she was, how kind and loving. That wasn’t the Mimi I knew. The Mimi I knew was a force to be reckoned with, a powerful self-centered woman who valued possessions and external validation above nearly all else. She frequently recounted…

Read More

I Had Postpartum Depression Twice…And I Still Want a Third Child

I’m struggling.  Big time.  I feel like I’m losing a big part of myself over this struggle.  I swear, since becoming a mom I have been through hell and back. I lost my damn mind.  Why on God’s green Earth would I even ponder a third child? But…the struggle is real. I feel like a part of my is dying now that my babies are no longer babies anymore. I know. What am I thinking? I’m thinking I turn 40 in June. My oldest is nearly nine and my little…

Read More

I Forgot to Love My Husband: Here’s What Happened

I love my husband Gabe more than I thought it was possible to love anyone, but sometimes I forget. I get swept up in our day-to-day life, managing the comings and goings of our tribe and making sure they’re fed a vegetable every third day or so, and I forget. I forget that I’m doing all this next to a guy who, when I see him walking toward me in a crowd, still makes me look twice. I forget that when we were dating, teenage-girl butterflies swarmed my stomach when…

Read More

Must Love Chickens

I can pinpoint the hour and minute I fell in love with Gabe. We’d been dating only a short time, and it was easy and comfortable and SO MUCH fun. Still, I didn’t want a serious relationship with anyone because I was still processing the end of my marriage to my ex-husband Billy, and everything that went along with that. A relationship with Gabe was further complicated by the fact that we’d been friends for nearly fifteen years. Loving anyone felt risky, and loving Gabe especially so. To avoid that,…

Read More