Coparenting After Divorce: Learning To Coparent Alone

The word coparenting is a lie, really. Coparenting is generally defined as a parenting situation where two or more adults work together to raise a child even though they are not necessarily the biological parents, living together or in a romantic relationship. This implies a kind of rosy glow over the group and kindly includes stepparents and others as well. But, in my experience, coparenting doesn’t always mean two people working together. In our house, for a long time, coparenting meant one person working alone.

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The Shattering of Loss

I have been shattered before.  I remember this feeling. This aimless wandering around my house, not sure what to do next. The holding my daughter close and smelling her hair and being at once comforted and afraid. The explaining to my son that it is okay to actually feel something about this, that the pasted smile on his face doesn’t have to stay, the joke at the ready can remain unspoken. Worrying that the weight of this will mark them in a way I cannot prevent or erase. Worrying that…

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5 Things I Learned Supporting My Best Friend Through Divorce

My best friend of a decade is going through a divorce. She has three young children and ending the marriage was not her choice. She is a woman who is strong, brave, and who puts the well-being of her children first. I am constantly amazed by her. I want to punch her ex in the face, but she can be friendly with him, involves him in the important events, and even has family meals with him. It’s impressive. However, as I look at her, being strong and mature, I also…

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How We Grieve Without Losing Our Way

I spent the weekend nursing my children’s wounds.  Not new wounds—although Lottie did catch her finger in a door and Caden stepped on a tack.  This weekend I nursed the old grief that surfaces every now and again. Our social media highlight reel paints a picture of fun family time spent together this weekend.  We ran the Jingle Jog 5K, planted bulbs, and debuted one of our Nutcrackers (with two ballerinas in the family, one Nutcracker a holiday season isn’t enough).  The kids finished their homework and did their chores….

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9 Things You Need To Know To Coparent After Divorce

I was chatting with a friend recently about the differences in the way we coparent with our exes. “You and your ex have such a good coparenting style. Your kids are well adjusted and it seems to work. I wish I could have that.” I started to respond with, “You can!” because deep down, I really want to believe that. I sat down to write and started thinking about all the people I know who are coparenting and it struck me: they’re all doing different things. This is because each…

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