Real Talk About Babies

So, now that we’re married, Brian and I have been having the baby conversation. You know, because we’re not spring chickens or anything.

Note: before we get things going here: I AM NOT PREGNANT. Okay good. Glad we got that out of the way.

The conversation has kinda gone something like this.

Me: Brian, I want a little girl. If I don’t get a little girl, it’s all. your. fault.

Brian: Oh really?

Me: Yep.

Brian: I see.

And, sometimes, it goes like this:

Me: Do you want a girl or a boy?

Brian: It’s probably cliché, but I don’t really care, you know, if it’s healthy. Some people really want, like, a mini-me.

Me:

Brian: You know like a miniature version of themself…

Me:

Me: starts nodding enthusiastically

Brian: I take it that’s what you want?

Me: Don’t YOU want a mini-me? Not like a mini-you…a Mini-Me. A Mini-Chrissy. Can’t you just imagine living with two of us!?

Brian:

And SOMETIMES, it goes like this:

Me: I want all the babies!!

Brian: Oh yeah?

Me: Yep. I want a Mini-Me and a little boy who loves me forever. And what if our first little girl is nothing like me? We’d obviously have to try again. You know, until we get it just right.

Brian:

And then there are the times it goes like this:

Me: Brian, will you still love me if I get pregnant and am totally crazy?

In other news, I think he’s warming up to the idea of us getting a dog.

This post originally appeared on Quirky Chrissy. It has been used with permission. 

Chrissy Woj is a writer and humorist, sometimes pairing the two as she would her favorite bottle of cheap wine and expensive cheese and she will be a #RealityMom some day. She writes at her personal, no-niche, full-nonsense blog, Quirky Chrissy, where you’ll find her passionately raving about cheese, her hilarious husband, and the necessity of leggings as pants. Her work has been featured on the Huffington Post, Dirty Sexy Funny with Jenny McCarthy, Scary Mommy, and in the humor anthology, “I Just Want to be Perfect.” You can also spot her sharing random and ridiculous thoughts on Facebook and Twitter.

Guest Contributor

This #RealityMom or #RealityDad has graciously agreed to share her word baby with our site and we are eternally grateful.

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