Breaking Up is Hard to Do

I used to be married to someone else. It’s not something many people know about me. Not because I hide it, just because it was a long time ago and my life today is completely different to what it was like when I was married to someone else. We were together for nearly nine years, two of them as a married couple, and I think that for at least four years out of the nine, I knew the relationship was “wrong” for me. It doesn’t really matter why it was…

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Single Parenthood: It’s Not A Competition

I’ve read several post lately debating exactly who qualifies to call themselves a single parent. And it caused me to examine myself. Am I really a “single parent?” Do I actually qualify for this title? I even wrote a short piece about single parenting for the Huffington Post and defined a single parent as “someone who parents without the emotional backup or support of another person.” I got some pretty strange comments about that definition. One reader even suggested that I was stupid. That “everyone has some emotional support.” Really?…

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Panic Attacks: Separation and Divorce

Panic Attacks: The Early Years Other kids had imaginary friends growing up. I had panic attacks. I think I had my first panic attack when I was four. I remember a big one when I was seven, visiting Opryland. I began hyperventilating during a stage show medley of country classics and had to be taken to their medical center. (But really, was it a panic attack or a way to get the hell out of Opryland? I mean, who visits Opryland in the Tennessee summer heat?) Panic attacks were frequent…

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7 Ways Divorce is Like Childbirth

I’ve never considered myself to be an overly strong person. I have good qualities, but fortitude has never really one of them. The two experiences in my life that have shown me that I am stronger than I think am: childbirth and divorce. And when you think about it, those two processes have a lot of similarities. 7 Ways Divorce is Like Childbirth 1. Each birth and each divorce experience is unique.Moms who have more than one child often say that their pregnancies were radically different. Just as each pregnancy…

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Divorce: This is How We Do It

Mid-divorce or post-divorce life with your ex doesn’t have to be ugly. This past May, as the officiant welcomed guests to my wedding, I stole a glance at the first row where, sandwiched between our two daughters, my ex-husband sat smiling at me. Noting his presence with an awkward stare and crazed looks in their eyes, some baffled attendees whispered to me, “Ummmm…you are aware that your ex is here, right?” The expectation when a couple goes through a divorce is that the hatred between the two parties should multiply…

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