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Why Mother’s Day Stinks

I just don’t even know why I try anymore. All I hope for is a day that I’m the important one.  A day that my children want to actually BE with me.  A day where they get along—and so do my husband and I.  A day that makes my heart beat and my butterflies flutter.  Just one day out of an entire year to feel like I’m the most important person in the world. Some moms prefer to have the day alone.  Other moms prefer to go to the bathroom…

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Behind the Facade: Depression and Me

I have always been very vocal about how I lost my Mother to suicide four years ago. I have been vocal about her struggle with mental illness, more specifically depression and anxiety. I saw the depression transform my Mother into someone who raised me, loved me and held me into someone I no longer recognized. Something I haven’t been as vocal on my blog about is my own struggle with depression and anxiety. A few days ago I was wondering why I hadn’t brought it up. Was I ashamed? Was…

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I Felt Broken: I Needed Help

I felt defeated Completely, totally and utterly defeated. I felt like I had lost a war that I hadn’t even realized I was fighting, but looking back, I’d been engaged in for a long time. I’m not quite sure when it started. Actually, scrap that, I probably do know when it started, or at least when people seem to think it should have started. Over three and a half years ago, I hurt my hand. It seemed not so bad at first, a broken or sprained thumb maybe, but something…

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Today…I Showered

Today I showered. That was it. That’s all I accomplished for the entire day. I didn’t clean, or pay bills, return calls or texts and I most certainly did not set the world on fire with my cooking. I showered. I got up and noticed right away that it was back. Come once again, to sit in the pit of my stomach and fill me from the inside with its weight. Sometimes when it comes, it feels like an old friend has come to visit, bringing its familiar cold hug….

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