Dear Daughter: You Are Strong

You come from a family of strong women. We have always pushed boundaries and are never able to filter ourselves no matter how hard we try. We’ve gone through trials, we’ve suppressed feelings, we’ve fought to be where we belong. For years I’ve seen us all struggle, trying to hold back our fierce energy and fit society’s expectations of how women should act.

It’s been very obvious since the day you were born that you would continue this family trend of strength, and while it makes me proud it also makes me nervous. The world isn’t always kind to those that speak their mind and unapologetically advocate for themselves. And because of this, I feel even more strongly about making sure this generation does all it can to gift the next a more accepting and more balanced place to flourish.

Until then my sweet girl, here are some lessons your momma has learned the hard way over the years.

Don’t let people mistake your passion for being too emotional.

The minute I entered the workplace I became hypersensitive to being perceived as “too emotional” by others. I’ve had bosses comment, I’ve had people joke, and it made me extremely paranoid about my reaction to certain things at work for years. My passion is what makes me good at my job. My desire to get things done right, my frustration when they don’t—that is what has made me succeed. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t give my all and I wouldn’t have made myself into who I am. Please, sweet daughter of mine—embrace your passion.

Support other women in their success.

You have been blessed with strength and tenacity. Not every woman you will meet has, and some will find that intimidating. Do not let those people get you down, they don’t deserve the energy. Rise above, find others like yourself and support them in becoming the best they can be. There will always be adversity my love, and unfortunately, you will encounter more of it simply because you are female. Surround yourself with other strong women and rise up together. There is strength in numbers.

Be proud of yourself.

Being a successful woman is nothing to be ashamed of. You alone achieved your goals, and you don’t need to play them down. We are allowed to be proud of our successes and surrounded by people that are proud of them as well. When you start dating, don’t worry if you make more or have a higher title than the person you are with. If they have a problem with it- kick them to the curb. Anyone worthy of being with you will not be intimidated by your achievements. When you get that promotion, go out and celebrate! Don’t play it down. It IS a big deal.

The world will not hand itself to you.

Success doesn’t happen on its own. It’s uncomfortable, and you have to go out and get it. Know what you deserve and tell people what that is. If you just sit around and wait for that promotion or dream job it will never come. Please know that it’s not a reflection on how good you are, it just means that you didn’t ask. You are your own best advocate and can look out for yourself better than anyone else. Ask. Demand. Even when it makes you uncomfortable. Even when people tell you that you’re being crazy. It won’t always be the answer you want, but you’ll at least know then how to keep working towards achieving what you want.

We are trying to get us there, but it’s going to take some time. And I can promise you that now that I’m your momma it’s even stronger on my heart. Just know that progress is happening, and there’s a lot of people trying to make the world a more equal place for you. And I know you’ll continue to fight the good fight for yourself and your own children. Women are strong and powerful, and together we will continue to rise.

This post originally appeared on Living the High Life. It has been reprinted with permission.

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