This Womb is Closed for Business

There is a sign hanging on my womb.

“CLOSED For Business”

A few years ago I made an addition to the sign. It now reads “CLOSED For Business PERMANENTLY.”

I’ve got the mom badge. Four children bless my world and I’m thankful for each and every one of them. I mourn the one we didn’t get to meet as we lost that little one to miscarriage. But as friends and strangers ask if I’m planning on expanding my family further, I answer with a mighty and loud, “HELL TO THE NO!”

We may add fur babies to our family as time passes, but as to any more human children leaving my body–nope. I’m done.

For us, my husband and I, four was the plan. (Well, it was my plan and he acquiesced wisely knowing I’m a bit bull-headed.) I grew up planning to have three biological children and one adopted child. Nature saw to it that I became pregnant five times all on my own. I never envisioned what having a large family would be like. People ask me if I regret having so many kids. No way! But life would look drastically different if there were less of us. And you know what–it would be perfect that way too. Each family is unique and free to be as it is.

I have no guilt about not wanting more children. We’ve reached the stage in life where my children can pack for themselves, make their own meals, and make decisions about their futures (good and bad).

As we prepare to leave for a week-long snowboarding trip, I simply tell them the quantity of riding clothing and gear, street clothing, and books to pack (it’s a 14-hour car trip to get there…and back). I no longer do quality control on what they pack as they’re old enough to deal with the consequences of poor packing decisions. I’ve moved on to the next stage.

Done. Over it. Storefront closed. My uterus is out of business. That ship has sailed. My port is closed. How many more ways do I need to say it?

I’ve reached the stage where I will hold your baby any time of the day, any day of the week. And then gladly hand said child back to you.

Change a diaper or two? No problem.

Babysit here or there. Absolutely.

Give birth again? Hell no.

I’m happy for those who have yet to start having children and for those planning more. I’ll happily hold your baby while you eat a hot dinner, take a long shower, or have a night out with your partner. Then I’ll hand your kid back and go home and sleep all night long. Once my 17-year-old gets home from his date.

Joy Hedding

Joy aka Evil Joy is wife to one Dr. Evil and mother to four children she often refers to as spawn. Joy is a snowboarding fanatic and loves to share her exploits - snowboarding and otherwise - on Instagram. She currently spends copious amounts of time taxiing her children from one place to another. Frequently funny, always honest, and occasionally serious Joy blogs about everything from dealing with messy teenagers to navigating life after PTSD. Joy has been published in the anthologies "Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor" and "Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee" and has been featured on Sammiches and Psych Meds and Her blog is Evil Joy Speaks and you can find her on Facebook and on Twitter.

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