“Women can’t have it all”, they say. “It’s not possible.”
I wore that weight for a long time, thinking that I couldn’t have everything my heart desired.
I was frustrated and thinking I was destined to a life half-full. But what it “having it all” didn’t mean what I thought it did? Or what we, as women and mothers are led to believe it does? I realize that this picture may look slightly different for each of us, so pause for a sec and think about your “all.”
There is this idea of what “having it all” means, and for so long I had a mental picture, like many women and mothers do. For most of my life, having it all meant having it all together. A spotless home. Two veggies at every meal. A perfect appearance. The best job- busting through the glass ceiling and making lots of money. Well-behaved children. The ideal marriage. A ton of friends and a packed social calendar. I thought that to have it all that I had to have everything perfectly orchestrated, neat and tidy and a lot of it. I was on a quest for perfection, coming up short and chronically disappointed.
What I kept forgetting was that while it was messy and imperfect, I already had everything I’d ever wanted.
I have two boys that while only mostly well-behaved are the perfect sons for me. The joy they bring me is more than anything I’ve ever felt. We’re healthy. My house, while messy is comfortable and ours. Veggies? That’s practically a dirty word at our toddler table, but the boys are growing every day. My marriage has seen its share of peaks and valleys, but we love each other, and my husband supports every crazy endeavor I pursue.
Our perfectly imperfect life is my everything. There are times where I’m overwhelmed, sure. Things are crazy, messy, busy and sometimes hard. When I am feeling frustrated, I take a moment, take a deep breath and focus. I have it all. I was so caught up in what that meant I forgot to notice.
Having it all doesn’t mean having a clean house or the best job. Having it all means my heart and home are full of light and love.
The days are brighter, and my heart is happier because I take the time to appreciate all that is mine. I truly do have it all, and it is enough.