My Kid Went to University and I’m Not a Mess

Evidently, I’m supposed to be a blubbering pool. Not all the time, but at least some of the time. These first days are supposed to be rough. I’m supposed to be a mess.

I’m not.

My child went away to university and I’m completely fine. Yes, I miss him. I most certainly am excited for the next time I see him. But I’m not sad. I’m okay.

Possibly his happiness, excitement, and contentment fuel my peaceful state. This kid was born ready for university. He’s always been independent, always confident, and up for any challenge presented.

We’ve raised our son, and are raising our daughters, to follow their dreams. To find a path that suits them and supports their desires for their futures. What that means to each child is different, and for some of our kids, unknown at this point. University, far or near. College, local or out of state. Vocational school. Divinity school. Military Service. A skip year traveling the world. Who knows what the future will hold?

There is one thing I know for certain in the depths of my soul. My children will always have my support. I may not agree with the choices they make, like every step they take or understand their “why” but I will always be there for them. For me personally, a portion of that means finding my inner joy in whatever situation exists.

I’m okay because my child is okay. He’s thriving and in his happy place. I’m finding my new normal with one less child under my roof, knowing that there is one more amazing human set loose on this world.

For the record, I was a blubbering mess when he drove off the first time and when we left him the second time. For about 10 minutes. Then….I focused on the new happy in front of him. And therefore the new happy in front of me.

Joy Hedding

Joy aka Evil Joy is wife to one Dr. Evil and mother to four children she often refers to as spawn. Joy is a snowboarding fanatic and loves to share her exploits - snowboarding and otherwise - on Instagram. She currently spends copious amounts of time taxiing her children from one place to another. Frequently funny, always honest, and occasionally serious Joy blogs about everything from dealing with messy teenagers to navigating life after PTSD. Joy has been published in the anthologies "Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor" and "Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee" and has been featured on Sammiches and Psych Meds and Her blog is Evil Joy Speaks and you can find her on Facebook and on Twitter.