On Growing Into My Motherhood

At 24, home meant a rundown farm house that was a bit off the grid in the Maryland countryside. My partner and I had been together only a few months and hastily moved there when I discovered I was pregnant. The house belonged to my grandfather, a wealthy lawyer with a taste for liquor which I’d undoubtedly inherited. He was now living in a nursing home, suffering end-stage dementia. Though its carpet smelled like mildew and the spiders were as big as my fist, that house was our saving grace….

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I Had Postpartum Depression Twice…And I Still Want a Third Child

I’m struggling.  Big time.  I feel like I’m losing a big part of myself over this struggle.  I swear, since becoming a mom I have been through hell and back. I lost my damn mind.  Why on God’s green Earth would I even ponder a third child? But…the struggle is real. I feel like a part of my is dying now that my babies are no longer babies anymore. I know. What am I thinking? I’m thinking I turn 40 in June. My oldest is nearly nine and my little…

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Reconciling My Post-Baby Identity

In the prime of my selfish “pre-baby” days I got married. I moved across the country from Chicago to Philly…leaving behind the super success as a radio personality I worked so hard to achieve. And I had just turned thirty. I spent the summer without a job, but then got a great on-air position with a top-ranked radio station in Philly. Within the first week of my new job, I found out I was pregnant. I gained fifty pounds and forty-one weeks later popped out a bouncing baby boy, no…

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Premature Anxiety: Out Too Soon

I can be annoyingly productive in the first few weeks of spring, as months of hibernation turn into an overwhelming need to do all the things. One of the first ways I know spring has truly arrived is when my mental gears start turning to plan my daughter’s birthday party. Last year, for her fifth birthday, she chose Honey I Shrunk the Kids as a theme, which I took as a testament to my amazing parenting. Obviously. I Pinterested the shit out of that party and waddled my way around…

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