Let Them Grow: What It Really Feels Like To Miss Your Child’s Firsts

There are so many firsts in life: the first taste, first step, first grade, and the list goes on until it exhales from memory altogether. We experience life at our own pace, but everything changes when you have kids. You start doing things according to their schedule, not yours. You feed them when they want to be fed, not when it is supper time. You lay them down after they fall asleep, not always before. And when they want to become more independent, you step back and give them the…

Read More

A Love Letter to My Last Child

Dear last child of mine, You are the last baby I will hold, the last baby whose soft body I will smell, the last one I will feed and comfort at night. I swear, you were just born last week and look at you now–three and half years old, ruling the house with your cuteness and tantrums, like the absolute star that you are. It went by too fast. I know I complain a lot. I know I’ve said (in my head) “grow up already” so many times. I know…

Read More

When You Wished for Your Child to “Just Stay Little”

I hated you when you wished for your child to “just stay little,” but now I understand. You’ve said it often, in many different ways. “Why can’t they just stay little?” You would lament as you saw your baby changing into a toddler…a preschooler…a kindergartener. I swore I’d never use that phrase, because I know that if given the choice, you would not choose a child who didn’t grow up. I know because I have one. I saw my first son grow slowly and develop even more slowly. Then pause,…

Read More

Five More Minutes

“Five more minutes.” This is my older son’s habitual plea as my husband and I deposit him in bed each night, entreating us to stay with him as he falls asleep. New to the world of “big boy” novelties—a toddler bed and Lightning McQueen underwear chief among them—this request is one of the few remaining traces of his fast-disappearing babyhood. To be honest, I sometimes resent the request. As a stay at home mom, I am seldom without my children. The rare moments when they’re both asleep are sacred; I…

Read More

I’ve Been Replaced

I was not prepared. I’m not sure any mom ever is or can be, no matter how well informed we are or how many “studies” we read or how much we think we know about this gig called parenting. The night it happened, I left my son’s room in shock. How did this happen so fast? Why did I not see this coming? My teen had been asking me to watch a TV show he loves with him for a few days. I finally got his brother down at a…

Read More