I just turned 41, and for my 41st birthday, I ran away from home. I checked into a hotel, drank mimosas next to the pool, took a 30 minute shower, ate breakfast in my bed, and never once turned on the TV. It was blissful…for me.
I know there are many women who can’t imagine leaving their kids for two days to go to a hotel. They will tell you that their husband can’t handle it, or that they can’t afford it, or make any number of excuses. For that woman, I say that’s fine. You do you. If you can’t leave, for whatever reason, it’s totally cool. But don’t begrudge me for doing it.
I Love Spending Time Without Kids
Before having kids, I loved travelling. I loved getting away, exploring new places and meeting new people. I loved sleeping alone. I loved not having a plan and letting the day take me wherever it wanted.
That all changed when I had children, and I’ve spent the last eleven and a half years navigating a life that still feels foreign to me at times. I love my kids. I can’t imagine my life without them. But I love my time without them. I love them more when I have a chance to miss them. I love myself more when I have an opportunity to remember who I was before I was Mom.
But I Don’t Judge You If You Don’t
Some women were born to be moms. They thrive on the day-to-day. I’m not one of them. And that’s okay. We don’t all have to be the same kind of mom. Really—we don’t!
We live in a society today that finds some strange joy in judging other people’s choices when they don’t line up with our own. It’s crazy! I mean who wants everyone to be exactly like them? And if you’re judging out of jealousy, well I hope you find peace in your choices, and if your choices aren’t bringing you peace, then I hope you’ll consider making another choice so you can.
The happiest kids have happy parents who love them. So do what makes you happy and love your kids. It really is that simple.
This post originally appeared on Be Like A Mother. It has been reprinted with permission.