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#RealityCheck: I’m a Mom, Not a Maid

I know this is radical thinking (I’m being sarcastic), but honestly – if people actually think that women LIKE cleaning everyone else’s wee off the floors, walls and toilet seats, or that it is somehow solely a woman’s job to do all of the housework, then they can seriously kiss my ass.

For one—I could not care less about vacuuming. I mean, I do it, but I honestly do not give a shit about it. I know having a clean and tidy house is a source of great pride for many people, but personally—having clean carpets does not make me feel a better wife, mother, woman or person, and I don’t need anyone to say “well done” just because I change everyone’s sheets once a week.

Secondly—I hate doing it, even though I am somewhat of a neat freak that needs to have a clean and tidy space around me to be able to function in life, this by itself does not mean I actually enjoy doing it. I know that for some, cleaning and tidying up can be therapeutic, but for me, it’s more like a manic, angry, obsession that needs to be done as fast as humanly possible.

And finally—it is not my job.

I don’t care much for all the reasons people give as to why it IS a woman’s job to do the housework. You know, all the ‘well, you’re a stay at home mom, what else would you be doing?’.

I’ll have you know that I have PLENTY of things I could be doing and none of them involve folding laundry.

Now don’t get me wrong, I get the logic behind dividing the roles—one brings in the money, the other keeps the home going, but let’s face it—being in charge of the home and the housework is the most neverending job on the face of the planet, and can hardly be compared to a 9-to-5 job that includes benefits, insurance, dental care and holidays, can it?

I see women literally buried under piles of laundry, never keeping up with the endless amount of tasks they have as masters of their castles. Stressed out and in many cases underappreciated (because it’s your job and how hard can it be to mop the floor, right?), there is really no wonder why most mothers need a glass (or more) of wine at the end of the day!

And if we are being totally honest, then let’s admit that most working moms are still ALSO in charge of the home and housework, even though they have that 9-to-5 job and are also bringing in the money.

Which is why I call bullshit.

Listen—I am not suggesting packing it in and doing nothing (although that would be absolutely amazing), but what I am proposing is a different perspective on something that has just been a ‘way of life’ for far too long.

You see, the home is a place the WHOLE family lives in, not just “mommy”. It is EVERYONE’S responsibility and in everyone’s interest that the dishes, laundry and food shop get done—so why not start delegating and become the CEO of the housework rather than the cleaner?

My kids are still young, but even they are capable of doing far more than I had ever expected them to be able to do, from emptying/filling the dishwasher and tidying up their rooms to folding the laundry (really badly obviously but who cares? I gave up on being “perfect” a long time ago!).

My point is that my home is the place my whole family comes together. It’s the place we all eat in, sleep in, laugh, fight, fart and make memories—it is everyone’s castle, not just mine and I refuse to be a maid in my own home.

This post originally appeared on Tova Leigh. It has been reprinted with permission.

Author: Tova Leigh

Tova is an actress, writer, blogger and mother of three drama queens.  You can find her at Tova’s Blog: My Thoughts About Stuff.

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