It’s Okay to Not Love Every Moment, But You’ll Miss It

I’ve been reading a lot of posts from moms of babies and young children telling fellow moms that it’s okay not to love every moment of motherhood.

I totally get where they are coming from. I felt the same way when my three were younger. And even now that mine are 21, 18, and 15, I still can feel that way.

But if at all possible, while you’re in the world of little ones, you might want to remember this—as crazy as it sounds—you may actually miss a few things from this completely insane time of your life.

I know you may be questioning my sanity right now, so stay with me on this.

Of course you don’t have to love every moment of motherhood. No worries. No shame. Complain away.

Those of us who have left the baby, toddler, preschool, and little kid crazy days behind have been there. Heck I’ve been known to belt out a few choruses of “Nobody Knows The Troubles I’ve Seen” more than a few times in my life as a mom to three.

And the last thing I wanted to hear when I was up to my eyeballs in dirty diapers, sticky floors, or chasing a naked three-year-old while helping my first grader do a school project, was how I was going to miss this one day.

I mean, come on. Give me a break.

But, as nuts as this sounds, you might.

As you get further and further away from the sheer insanity of raising little ones, the nutty, gross things fade into mom memories and the sweet moments get more intense.

You watch your youngest kid, the one who loved cuddling with you while you read bedtime stories together or told you that you were the prettiest mommy, bound out the door with a quick, “bye mom” and a kiss on your head and go off to his first day of high school.

The fact that he had a habit of throwing up all over you, in restaurants, movie theaters, and family parties, or when he was a toddler drew a race track all over your cream carpet in red sharpie, becomes just one of those things you laugh about now.

As your older kids go to college or start their adult lives, all those mothering skills you’ve honed and used for years are no longer needed, or at least not as wanted in the same way that they once were.

You’ll remember the giggles and the sloppy kisses and the bouquets of dandelions.

And if not completely forgetting the epic tantrums, endless questions, sibling squabbles, and miles chauffeuring kids to practices, rehearsals, and club meetings, the memories do soften.

So it’s fine not to cherish every moment right now. No worries. No guilt.

But believe it or not, you might one day. Fear not, those memories will be waiting for you.

This post originally appeared on My Dishwasher’s Possessed. It has been reprinted with permission.

Kathy Radigan is a writer, blogger, social media addict, mom to three, wife to one, and owner of a possessed appliance. Kathy is the author of the viral post An Open Letter to My Teenage Son About Drinking. She is a Huffington Post blogger and a frequent contributor to What the Flicka and Scary Mommy. Her work has also been featured on, Yahoo, Elephant Journal, What to Expect, and other online publications. Kathy lives outside New York City with her family. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter and on her blog, My Dishwasher’s Possessed.

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