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Children Are Meant to be Unfinished

“And don’t forget you didn’t finish the laundry,” I yell defiantly. I watch the slim profile of my daughter stomp up the stairs, her dark ponytail swinging side to side. I can hear her breathing through her nose, in and out, in and out, like a bull about to charge. I watch as she turns the corner, out of my view. I brace myself, waiting for the door to slam, yet thankfully I hear a quiet click of metal on the wooden frame. I stand still, one hand clutching the…

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#EpicParentingFail: How Not to Handle Your Daughter’s First Period

My first test as the mother of a “mature” young woman was a complete, total, and epic failure. I thought I’d prepared both of us for when “it” arrived. I made sure she knew what to expect, had supplies, knew what to do with said supplies. But when she repeatedly called me after the first day of school and asked what time I’d be home, I eventually got snippy on the phone and said, “THE SAME TIME I TOLD YOU THE LAST THREE TIMES YOU CALLED!” I was super annoyed…

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When You Wished for Your Child to “Just Stay Little”

I hated you when you wished for your child to “just stay little,” but now I understand. You’ve said it often, in many different ways. “Why can’t they just stay little?” You would lament as you saw your baby changing into a toddler…a preschooler…a kindergartener. I swore I’d never use that phrase, because I know that if given the choice, you would not choose a child who didn’t grow up. I know because I have one. I saw my first son grow slowly and develop even more slowly. Then pause,…

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Liar Liar: Can I Light Her Pants on Fire?

Seriously can we set our kids’ pants on fire? That’s something they would remember right? It would make them second guess lying again, right? It all started 2 weeks ago when I noticed someone was in my bedroom—BEFORE CHRISTMAS! With all the presents in my closet I lost my mind. (The big guy said I have to stop with losing my mind for New Year’s but since this is about things that happened pre-New Year’s, I think I’m good). I have four kids (one boy and three girls ages 13-16)….

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Gym Clothes and Participation Trophies

Recently my daughter forgot her gym clothes. I know. Tweens and their irresponsibility. Except, she mentioned all weekend that she needed to do her laundry. She’s 12 and part of her household chores is managing the washing, drying, folding and putting away of her clothing. She mentioned it a few times, and in each instance I replied: “Okay, no problem. You can do it as soon as I switch my stuff out.” “Do you want me to move it?” she asked. “No, no. I want to make sure everything is…

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