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#RealityDad: Learning Challenges and Deciding to Get Tested

It began with a meeting to discuss Darcy’s “challenges”, a euphemism for the word “deficits” that was used when I was a boy. I’ve always hated both. The former reeks of some sort of 1984 Newspeak and the latter is rife with potentially detrimental consequences. Regardless of my thoughts neither word is one a parent wants to hear in context with one’s child. My daughter Darcy, all of six and in first grade, had been performing below grade level for some time and in many ways the meeting wasn’t a…

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Babies Provide a Horrible ROI

There’s a business and accounting acronym that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately—ROI (or Return on Investment). I’m a trained accountant, you see. Which is not the same as a practicing accountant. That is a good example of a bad ROI, actually—my going through all that accounting training while never collecting any of the accountant-as-profession benefits that should come with it. An example of good ROI is your sticking around for the rest of this essay. And not just because I’m going to better explain Return on Investment so…

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An Apology To My Preemie

We will stand in awe of the joy you pour into everyone you meet; your constant grin a testament to the endurance of babies. I wish I had half of your resilience, but my happiness is tempered with guilt. So much guilt. I’m sorry. I’m sorry my body failed you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t keep you safe. Protecting my children is a most fundamental desire—but we had to keep me healthy so that I could be there to see you grow up. You were comfortable in your cozy uterine…

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C-Sections are Beautiful

I recently heard a story about a photographer refusing to document a C-section birth, because they did not consider it to be an actual birth and worthy of documenting. The story broke out on Sanctimommy’s Facebook page who posted a screen shot of the photographer’s messages to the mom. #tmw your #birthphotographer dumps you for having a csection. Posted by Sanctimommy on Friday, 24 February 2017 The message read: “A surgery isn’t birth, my dear. You aren’t giving birth. You are having a surgery to remove your baby from your abdomen….

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Touring Universities Near and Far

My oldest child, my baby, is touring universities. It’s not possible for him to be preparing to leave home in just fifteen short months. College tours started last summer with Madison, Wisconsin. Followed by Montana State, Iowa State, and University of Minnesota is right around the corner. North Dakota State University, University of Seattle, University of Iowa…all of these potential next ‘homes’ for my baby. I suppose at this point I should stop calling my football playing, taller and bigger than I am, legal driver a baby. He’s a young…

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