I recently heard a story about a photographer refusing to document a C-section birth, because they did not consider it to be an actual birth and worthy of documenting. The story broke out on Sanctimommy’s Facebook page who posted a screen shot of the photographer’s messages to the mom.
#tmw your #birthphotographer dumps you for having a csection.
The message read:
“A surgery isn’t birth, my dear. You aren’t giving birth. You are having a surgery to remove your baby from your abdomen. That is not birth no matter how you swing it and I for one don’t want to be there to take pictures of it… If you decide to give motherhood a go from the get and have an actual birth let me know and we can schedule your session.”
Can I just stop here for a minute and say–WHAT THE HECK?!
This pisses me off to an extent I cannot even start to explain so pardon me while I do this again–WHAT THE HECK?!
As a mother of three healthy and happy girls, who gave birth via C-sections twice (first emergency and second elective due to high risk pregnancy of twins with pre-eclampsia), I can say for a fact that C-sections are 100% giving birth, and anyone who would say anything other than that to a mother who carried a baby in her belly for nine months, and then had a C-section for whatever reason, can seriously piss off.
Without getting too technical, if you look up the term ‘giving birth’ in the bloody dictionary you will find it means “when a woman or female animal gives birth, she produces a baby or young animal from her body”.
Very simple “she produces” with not mentioning of HOW this actually happens.
There are no extra points given to those who pushed for 24 hours, just like none are given to those who nearly bleed to death during childbirth, or had some other experience, good or bad, during labor.
On top, who the heck cares?
It doesn’t really matter if a woman gave birth via her vagina or via her stomach, both options kinda suck.
Anyone who had a vaginal birth will tell you how that hurts and how they couldn’t sit for days, whereas C-section moms have to deal with the crappy side effects of the drugs and bear a scar and overhang of skin that no one ever tells you about.
Bottom line is–women have it hard we don’t need to fight over the title of who has it the hardest.
I am sorry but I for one cannot stand hearing anything that brings women and moms down. For me all moms deserve medals for what they do and how they do it is so much less interesting. When it comes to being a parent there is really no ONE WAY of doing it, there are only choices and as adults we really need to start respecting those made by others.
And when it comes to C-sections, not all are done by choice which is also something people need to consider.
I am so grateful to live in a time that medicine is so advanced and allows mothers and fathers to have their babies in another way if the natural way is impossible. So many mothers have lost their babies or their own lives before this was possible. Is that what people who are against C-sections want to go back to?
I was in labour for over 24 hours with my first. I was set on a natural birth but things just went wrong. I pushed for over an hour but she was ‘back to back’ and refused to come out.
I was shattered and the doctors suggested I go for a C -section. It was by no means an easy way out.
My beautiful Bella was born at 10:15 am on a Sunday morning. She was nearly 3.5 kg at birth and looked like ET. She screamed as soon as she came out and I got to hold her a few moments after. Both me and husband cried tears of joy and it is by far still one of the best days of my life. Despite the C-section, I was able to pick her up very soon after once the drugs wore off and I breastfed her and co-slept with her for the first few months. Her face is imprinted in my soul and my love for her is something that no words could ever describe.
Despite the pain, despite the letdown of not being able to do it naturally, despite the long recovery and the massive scar–my C-section was beautiful and nothing anyone says can ever take that away from me.
So to all the people who are wasting their breath trying to put moms down for the choices they make, do me a favour–mind your own business!
This post originally appeared on Tova Leigh. It has been reprinted with permission.