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9 Things You Need To Know To Coparent After Divorce

I was chatting with a friend recently about the differences in the way we coparent with our exes. “You and your ex have such a good coparenting style. Your kids are well adjusted and it seems to work. I wish I could have that.” I started to respond with, “You can!” because deep down, I really want to believe that. I sat down to write and started thinking about all the people I know who are coparenting and it struck me: they’re all doing different things. This is because each…

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I’m Becoming a Model

I was talking with a friend recently about a woman we both know and her son. She’s been struggling with the changes he is going through in becoming a teen and one of her sticking points is how he doesn’t seem to appreciate all his mom does for him. Between the friend visits she schedules and drives around for and the after school/weekend activities she gets him to, she feels like he doesn’t appreciate all she does for him. She reminds him of this often telling him he is ungrateful,…

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I’ll Never Be Invited to a Neighborhood Party Again

I’m a social gal; I like people. I enjoy parties, meeting new people and finger foods. I adore finger foods. But, I have anxiety when I’m going to a party where I’ll be socializing with folks I don’t know well. Which is the exactly what the neighborhood party we’d been invited to would be. I’d met most of the neighbors but usually it was a quick intro, where I couldn’t tell you their names 5 minutes later. There would be a white elephant gift exchange (Oh God, do I get…

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My Biggest Lie

I held the little pills in my hand and I broke. I’d lost the fight and was now battling a new war. With his small, trusting face looking at me, I told the biggest lie of my life, “This is safe. You will be fine. I promise.” Everything in my being screamed at me—“Liar! Horrible mother! Failure!” The day I gave my son drugs for his ADHD, was one of the hardest days of my life. I had fought against holding one of those pills in my palm for a…

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I’ll Keep Watching

They say smell is the strongest trigger of memory and I completely agree. If I close my eyes, I can still smell her. Rave hairspray, Nina Ricci perfume, slightly sweet cigarette smoke from her Virginia Slims and Tide detergent. These were the smells of my childhood. These encompass my mother. My mom was the type of woman who exuded class. She got up every morning and went through the ritual of “getting ready.” This included days where we had no place to be and days where we did not even…

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